Love Island? Old news. Welcome, instead, to Gove Island

Anyone gettin’ all prangy because some government education blood is now foolin’ around on Love Island just doesn’t get it. Listen in on some of the crazy bantz overheard inside that DfE building and you’ll soon suss that Love Island is mere home from home for Zara or for any other educational mandingas graftin’ away in there. Tes reports

Love Island/Gove Island – there’s no real difference, bro. It’s just another exploited crew forced each day to turn idle fantasies into realities, a squad that has to cut free from the real world for that to work.

TODAY ON THE ISLAND: One islander is getting cold feet and is confiding with another… 

Damian: Not bein’ funny, Gibbo, but to be honest I don’t really fancy pairing up with anything on offer around here – free schools, academy chains, expanded grammars? Who in hell’s name invited them along? And once you’ve got the ick about something you just can’t shake it off. So I just hope I’m kicked off, soon as.

Gibbo: Damo, mate, don’t be such a melt. Live it! Eggs in basket! They reckoned I’d be pied off years ago, but I’m still here, still graftin’ with Theresa and not worrying about the consequences man.

Most intelligent people on that DfE island must surely feel a bit like Damian – marooned, confused and contractually obliged to play silly games in order to satisfy the personal whims of previous directors. So much of their day is wasted in pursuit of false idols such as free schools, academisation, expanded grammars and exam-only assessment of pupils and their schools.

At least Love Island is built on solid rock foundations. Sadly the same cannot be said for the country’s educational headquarters.       

 Read more Love Island? Old news. Welcome, instead, to Gove Island

Please tell us your thoughts in comments or via Twitter ~ Tamsin

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