Carol Dweck: Fussing parents rear generation of no-copers

The Sunday Times is reporting that claims from a leading academic that middle-class parents have reared a generation of youngsters who struggle to cope in the real world…

The paper has interviewed Carol Dweck – of growth mindset fame and professor of psychology at Stanford University – and reports her suggestions that highly educated parents and academic schools are turning out a generation of children with “perfect” academic scores who later struggle at college and in careers.

Dweck is quoted:

“The idea that children have to have a string of A grades is a terrible thing. There is a lot of parental influence on that perfectionism . . . In the past few generations we have seen the emergence of highly educated mothers . . . They schedule all these activities and advocate for the child . . . In the States parents are even calling up employers asking, ‘Why did my child not get a promotion? Why didn’t they get a stellar appraisal?’”

She goes on to suggest these young people will often end up living back with their parents because they lack the skills to make it on their own and cannot cope in the real world.

Examples of parents managing university application processes on behalf of their children and even getting involved in their employment issues are also raised.

Dweck suggests that one of the reasons today’s children are less resilient is because of excessive praise from parents, especially when it isn’t justified, and says parents should try to praise focus and effort/perseverance (but only when it is actually deserved).

More at: Fussing parents rear generation of no-copers (subscription may be required)

 

Obviously none of us is guilt of this ourselves  😯  but do you recognise these symptoms in children around you?

Do you agree with the underlying premise from Carol Dweck that parental attitudes – often from those who should know best – are creating less resilient offspring?

Please give us your thoughts and feedback in the comments or via Twitter…

 

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Categories: Parenting.

Comments

  1. JoNoGo

    SchoolsImprove This is what worries me about the ‘aim for the stars’ rhetoric. It means only the stars will do.

  2. andylutwyche

    SchoolsImprove There’s mileage in this, plus we have a school judging system that only makes things worse…

  3. andylutwyche

    SchoolsImprove There’s mileage in this, plus we have a school judging system that only makes things worse…

  4. rrunsworth

    SchoolsImprove US Professor attacking parents, what about society in which kids not allowed to ‘fail’/compete. And celebrity culture?

  5. rrunsworth

    SchoolsImprove For some reason this has annoyed me, most parents want best for their kids. Par4Ed ParentsWantASay seen this?

  6. Busy Mum

    excessive praise from parents, especially when it isn’t justified,

    But schools are the guilty ones – how many parents evenings have I attended where teachers are clearly afraid to say anything negative, everything has to be couched in positive language – and the children are just laughing up their sleeves. I have stopped taking my teens along and proactively tell teachers that I want to hear the truth – but they still lie to me, confirmed by my teens when I get home. Crackers.

  7. Busy Mum

    excessive praise from parents, especially when it isn’t justified,

    But schools are the guilty ones – how many parents evenings have I attended where teachers are clearly afraid to say anything negative, everything has to be couched in positive language – and the children are just laughing up their sleeves. I have stopped taking my teens along and proactively tell teachers that I want to hear the truth – but they still lie to me, confirmed by my teens when I get home. Crackers.

  8. YourSchoolMind

    SchoolsImprove also focussing on developing adults who need constant approval from others, rather than themselves.

  9. YourSchoolMind

    SchoolsImprove also focussing on developing adults who need constant approval from others, rather than themselves.

  10. YourSchoolMind

    SchoolsImprove also focussing on developing adults who need constant approval from others, rather than themselves.

  11. Par4Ed

    rrunsworth SchoolsImprove ParentsWantASay Complicated. Parents want the best, but do we measure that by grades, maturity or happiness?

  12. ChrisAFRIN

    SchoolsImprove johntomsett employability (soft) skills implementation? #resilience #grit #teamwork #critical thinking #problemsolving

  13. ChrisAFRIN

    SchoolsImprove johntomsett employability (soft) skills implementation? #resilience #grit #teamwork #critical thinking #problemsolving

  14. wraitken

    SchoolsImprove I only ask my own to try their best, grades are second. Good enough for my own, good enough for my classes too!

  15. LaCatholicState

    SchoolsImprove Parents will continue to love and parent their kids as they see fit. We do not listen to ‘experts’

  16. sr_tutor

    SchoolsImprove MrsTelie Yes. But a string of A’s open doors that a string of C+’s doesn’t. Parents are playing a game they didn’t start.

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